Self improvement starts here!

bca’s and phenadrine good combo – I COULD RUN A MARATHON
This is a part of my journey – one of the many ‘mini journeys’ that make up my crazy life.
I am Constantly searching for “better” and “more”. The latest of which involves loosing the 10.3 KG i have found (around my legs hips and tummy) over the last year. Its strange how much can creep on without me even noticing. And it’s not to say that I am at all unhappy with my body (consciously) however I have noticed small changes that I think are a result of this; slight insecurity when my boyfriend touches my tummy, I haven’t worn my super skinny super HOTT Sass and Bide jeans for at least 6 months, the thought of going to Bali in October frightens the hell out of me!!! I no that I will spend 90% of my time in an ITSY BITSY bikini, and last but not least, the intimate moments have almost ceased – and at the age of 20 this is a bit of a HELLO!!! wake up moment.

I came across this fantastic little paragraph that I just had to share. Unfortunately there was no reference of the author so we cant even search him or her up – but here goes;

THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO IT OFTEN. IF YOU DONT LIKE SOMETHING, CHANGE IT. IF YOU DONT LIKE YOUR JOB, QUIT. IF YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME, STOP WATCHING TV. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, STOP. THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU START DOING THE THINGS YOU LOVE.
STOP OVER-ANALYZING, LIFE IS SIMPLE.
ALL EMOTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL.
WHEN YOU EAT, APPRECIATE EVERY LAST BITE.
OPEN YOUR MIND ARMS AND HEART TO NEW THINGS AND PEOPLE. WE ARE ALL UNITED IN OUR DIFFERENCES.
ASK THE NEXT PERSON YOU SEE WHAT THEIR PASSION IS, AND SHARE YOUR INSPIRING DREAM WITH THEM.
TRAVEL OFTEN; GETTING LOST WILL HELP YOU DISCOVER YOURSELF.
SOME OPPORTUNITIES ONLY COME ONCE, SEIZE THEM.
LIFE IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MEET AND THE THINGS YOU CREATE WITH THEM, SO GO OUT AND START CREATING.
LIFE IS SHORT. LIVE YOUR DREAM AND SHARE YOUR PASSION.

sleep crazy

This morning I found myself loading Max into the car stressed out of my mind with the poor thing crying his lungs out.

Before having a baby I would never have imagined the severity of a 5 month old missing his morning sleep. He had been awake for around 2 and 1/2 hours! which is an hour longer than he usually can bear. So as you can imagine he was hysterical. Not only does my son fight with all his might to keep his peepers open he also freaks out when I carry him into his room (he is to smart for his own good) knowing that I am about to tuck him in and eventually leave him to sleep. So after an hour of back and forth with him crying and settling (once we left is room) I found my self in the situation above.

Driving around the streets with my bedsocks and Pj’s on, might I add on this FREEZING cold morning (I sleep in summer jamie shorts and a singlet) brrrrrrrrr. Max eventually settled but i was to scared to pull into the driveway in-case he recognized his surroundings and lost it again. So we continued to drive untill I decided that I was being a massive enabler (I watch to much Doctor Phil), and started questioning my ability to parent… what if he gets into drugs in his teenage years and I am still an enabler and I knowingly give him money, playing ignorant because I don’t want him to owe drug dealers money!?. STOP IT. I am over reacting again. I think? DR. Phil?

anyway moral of the story, I never know what is best for my baby while he is still baby, so i am just going to continue to ‘do what you gotta do’ and hope that hindsight offers me something. Maybe i will get it right with baby number 2. Doubt it.

 

My son is a fan of the cat nap during the day, he wont sleep longer than 40 minutes a pop – now I know that he needs at least two sleep cycles ( 2x 40 minutes sessions) and i swear if one more person tries to tell me that i need to ‘re-settle’ him when he wakes up (AS IF I HAVENT TRIED A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE…) I am going to make them ‘re-effing-settle’ him and see how they go with it.

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Meetup Group

The Dummy Spit

I have been at mothers group this afternoon and as always I have returned home stuffed with more information than a roast chicken. (roast chickens obviously aren’t stuffed with information but my brain has recently been enjoying a temp. leave of absence so please grin and bare it) They always do this to me – the information overload that is – and at a risk of sounding cynical I highly doubt some information to be relevant or even factual sometimes. Today I discovered that not only am I a constant “getting it wrong’ failure of a parent I also have been putting my babies life at risk by connecting his dummy to a dummy chain (honestly if they sell them surely there isn’t actually any proof/history of their apparent danger) It sounds logical that any sort of chain in the neck region of my bubba could pose a risk however he only ever wears it when we are out of the house and due for a sleep (so not that often). The discovery of the Dummy chain was the end of an era for me. A vicious cycle of catch the ditched dummy before it hits any possibly dirty surface and pop it back in Maxis gob whilst preparing for the next ditch. It has become a wonderful and hilarious game for my baby, who just cant get over how funny mum looks diving for her life every single time he spits/chucks the dumdum. what to do? Well I have gotten rid of the chains and purchased extra back up dummies. I have also stopped giving Maxi his dummy if he is not unsettled which seems logical, I don’t no why I haven’t just stopped with it all together hes clearly not really a fan of it.

Business mum… or not?

I truly hope it isn’t just me, I feel like I am in way over my head at the moment. With the ever-daunting question bouncing around in my (rather hollow) head, will I ever amount to anything else? Or will I wear the “Amazing Multitasking Mum” badge for the rest of my life? Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely no shame in wearing that badge, I love being a mum and if life was that simple I would definitely choose to devote the rest of my life to child-rearing . My need to succeed at something else as well as being a fab mummy is  a constant itch that I am struggling to scratch.

Why has this become such an issue? You would think if I wanted it bad enough i would go out there, start a business and become one of the (ever increasing) Business-mum Badge-wearing crowd. I always hear my internal voice trying to rationalise why i haven’t yet done anything about it; “your to busy”, “Just focus on raising Max at the moment and worry about your career after” “You have a bad case of mum-brain thats all it will come back when Maxi is older”. these are always shortly followed by the voice of my inner, sightly abusive and righteous, conscience telling me that “Other Mums seem to be inspiring entrepreneurs, why cant you get on that bandwagon?” “Max needs parents who go after their dreams to look up to” “YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF EXCUSES AND PROCRASTINATION!!!”. and so it continues. the Quest to find Myself and what I love to do in a world where everything seems to get in the way (in my head at least anyway) I hope I can get over this victimisation bullshit that I keep falling back to when it all gets a little to much for my sensitive self to bare. 

What I really love is reading. Reading everything infact. I would love to be a fountain of knowledge however seeings as I literally forget anything that enters my brain, instantly, at the moment, that seems somehow unlikely. I love Writing, Although I never seem to be able to have any consistency to my blog, I do in-fact love posting. And I do feel I know how to maintain a super successful and interesting Blog with great content and a foundation of devoted readers… I never put any of this into action, and I have no Idea why. (Internal problems!! aghhh)

I also have a relatively new hobby, restoring old furniture. I love it SO much – I am no good of course but that is what hobbies are for, getting better at the things you love!

I need to start Putting all of these things together to create an empire of happiness and wealth – yeah keep dreaming.

 

OH I have to mention, I was doing a little research on how to become a succesfull Mummy, Business-woman, genius superstar. And I came across this site – It might be worth a read if ya’ll are in the same boat as me. 

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i just love mum bub pictures, there are no words for how much love and bonding these photos show. So here’s one of mine

Opinions Opinions!!

For the first time in my life i can positively say, I know that I am great at something.

That something is the most overlooked, unappreciated and highly judged, job in the world, being a mum.

My son is my world, which I assume is the same for the majority of young mums and older mums alike. We all love our babies more than anyone else in the world, and at the risk of offending, yes in my opinion, that does include their fathers. If your a dad that plays the role of both mum and dad – I apologize your a mum in my eyes so this doesn’t include you.

I  honestly never thought that i would be in the position where I had to actively expect and plan for the opinions and judgements of others. Especially when it came to being a mother. As shocked as i am at this, nothing has surprised me more than the fact that most of the criticism has come from not only other mums but my own mum!!

I know she doesn’t mean to be hurtful or annoying for that matter and most of the time she is incredibly helpful, However I have increasingly found myself holding back on details, latest events, and even milestones for baby Max during our daily phone call. Today chat was the usual “how are you”, “whats new”, “did you find anything at the trash and treasure markets Saturday?” etc…

When she asked “What are you up to today?” I replied “Max and i are off to the shops to get some formula, we ran out yesterday and since my milk decided to dry up two weeks ago we have been powering through the Aptamil like its going out of fashion!” My Mum, bless her, replies, Oh Jordan how could you run out? you need to stock pile things like this”. My mouth just about hit the floor but instead of pointing out that I don’t need the judgement and that its really not a big deal considering we literally just ran out 10 minutes ago so  have at least 2 – 3 hours before hes due for his next feed AND my house is closer to Woolies than the Woolies car park is! I instead got my defense on and mumbled something like, “yeah I know I’m not sure, I have been really busy”. Which obviously insinuated that I was to busy to look after my sons dietary needs… GREAT. Leading to more implied Mum failure comments. Grrrr. Not only did i not learn from this i almost immediately went on to say, Shit mum i have to go Maxi has just weed through his nappy and i am wearing him in the Baby-bjorn so we are both covered in wee Idiot Jordan!  Mum swiftly replies, “Why have you let his nappy get so full that he is weeing through it?”

At this point I am so mad and frustrated with myself that I just told her i had to go, why am i defending myself and my parenting skills to my own mum? surely she has some mum failure moments herself? I hope This doesn’t drive a wedge in between us, I sure as hell know that it irritates the hell out of me when people get their insinuating tone on. I usually just stop allowing them the details of Maxi’s day.

I don’t want that to happen with my own mum, Can you even do this to your Mum??

agghh who knows.

xx

Brighten Up Your Space

Maxi-bon is now 14 weeks old, I am well into the journey of motherhood, which is a relief – it was hard to see a light at the end of the dark, sleep deprived and hormonal tunnel in those first few weeks. But here we are, I am still alive and Maxi is amazing, astounding me everyday, reaching little milestones.
Along the way I have discovered little changes that I have been able to make to simplify life and make the transition into being a stay at home Mummy a little easier throughout the tougher times.
The biggest thing for me has been to hang on to my hobbies, this gives me the chance to feel like an individual and like i am still myself rather than devoting 100% of my thoughts to being a mum. Being a mummy is so rewarding. The instant gratification from watching your little one develop is huge and rather overwhelming.
The transition from young single life into Mummy, family life is a tricky one. Little things like going from working full time and running a house hold to being a full time mum at home all day is so much harder than I thought it would be. So I decided to brighten up my home – make it my creative space. I do have to look at these four walls all day everyday. Here was my first step, new throw cushions!!!

I chose super bright colors to keep my home a happy place and also because bright contrasting colors stimulate Maxis brain function and ultimately development =). I love that I could incorporate the mustard yellow with our gorgeous purple mat, I am in LOVE with this yellow but we cant afford a new mat for the floor, I am not a huge fan of purple but it is a gorgeous rug and perfect for play time on the floor so I cant justify getting rid of it. to Spread the Mustard yellow love I also picked up this little beauty for the dinner table for 22 bucks from a wholesale pop up shop in Richmond.

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
It Is surprising how much difference a little color splash can do for your mood!