For the first time in my life i can positively say, I know that I am great at something.
That something is the most overlooked, unappreciated and highly judged, job in the world, being a mum.
My son is my world, which I assume is the same for the majority of young mums and older mums alike. We all love our babies more than anyone else in the world, and at the risk of offending, yes in my opinion, that does include their fathers. If your a dad that plays the role of both mum and dad – I apologize your a mum in my eyes so this doesn’t include you.
I honestly never thought that i would be in the position where I had to actively expect and plan for the opinions and judgements of others. Especially when it came to being a mother. As shocked as i am at this, nothing has surprised me more than the fact that most of the criticism has come from not only other mums but my own mum!!
I know she doesn’t mean to be hurtful or annoying for that matter and most of the time she is incredibly helpful, However I have increasingly found myself holding back on details, latest events, and even milestones for baby Max during our daily phone call. Today chat was the usual “how are you”, “whats new”, “did you find anything at the trash and treasure markets Saturday?” etc…
When she asked “What are you up to today?” I replied “Max and i are off to the shops to get some formula, we ran out yesterday and since my milk decided to dry up two weeks ago we have been powering through the Aptamil like its going out of fashion!” My Mum, bless her, replies, Oh Jordan how could you run out? you need to stock pile things like this”. My mouth just about hit the floor but instead of pointing out that I don’t need the judgement and that its really not a big deal considering we literally just ran out 10 minutes ago so have at least 2 – 3 hours before hes due for his next feed AND my house is closer to Woolies than the Woolies car park is! I instead got my defense on and mumbled something like, “yeah I know I’m not sure, I have been really busy”. Which obviously insinuated that I was to busy to look after my sons dietary needs… GREAT. Leading to more implied Mum failure comments. Grrrr. Not only did i not learn from this i almost immediately went on to say, Shit mum i have to go Maxi has just weed through his nappy and i am wearing him in the Baby-bjorn so we are both covered in wee
Idiot Jordan! Mum swiftly replies, “Why have you let his nappy get so full that he is weeing through it?”
At this point I am so mad and frustrated with myself that I just told her i had to go, why am i defending myself and my parenting skills to my own mum? surely she has some mum failure moments herself? I hope This doesn’t drive a wedge in between us, I sure as hell know that it irritates the hell out of me when people get their insinuating tone on. I usually just stop allowing them the details of Maxi’s day.
I don’t want that to happen with my own mum, Can you even do this to your Mum??
agghh who knows.